5 Ways I KNEW My Husband Was The One For Me PT.2
(Another picture from my modeling shoot)
I know you are anxious to read the remainder of this post continued from part 1, but before you get started, scroll all the way to very bottom of this post (on the side), find the purple box that says “SUBSCRIBE” and enter your email address to officially subscribe to this blog. Soon, I will be sending out special newsletters and will be doing giveaways that will exclusively be for subscribers, so sign up….right now.
Ok lets go! So in the last blog I ended my points with the area of accountability.
3. He was accountable (continued): The concept sounds simple, but it is HUGE!
The one you are dating needs to get sniffed out by the proven Godly men in your life. They need to be able to get all in his business without him feeling defensive. They need to put their finger on the things that you often overlook.
◊Helping Tip: A man who rejects accountability while dating will reject it while married. Save yourself the headache of marrying a rebel!
There are also categories of accountability.
Pay attention to his level of accountability in the following four areas:
- Friendships
- Employer
- Family
- Spiritual Authority
How he treats accountability in these areas will tell you a lot about him.
Basically who a man has in his life to encourage, challenge, and correct him will determine how he is able to process through the toughest times in his life. A man that is uncomfortable with being under authority is unfit to be in authority.
4.We were equally yoked.
Now most of us have heard the scripture of “be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers” (1 Cor. 6:14). Of course we know that if you’re saved you should marry someone that’s saved. But that scripture goes even deeper. Let’s explore the cultural significance of the scripture to shine light on it even more.
In biblical days, oxen would be yoked together, by twos. They would be coupled together in order to plow a field and pull a load…together. This meant that they needed to have the same stamina and endurance, so that the other ox would not be lagging behind…it meant that they could equally carry the weight in synchronization.
(picture of oxen yoked together)
Togetherness is essential. Can you imagine one ox trying to run in one direction while the other is trying to run in another direction while being yoked together? First of all, that would probably be painful! Secondly, they wouldn’t go anywhere! It’s important to be yoked together with someone who has the same vision.
What load will you two carry together for the kingdom of God? What will you accomplish together? What great exploits will you do together?
You should discover early on in the dating stage if you two are going in two totally different directions. This should be one of the main priorities of the dating stage because once you’re married, you’re officially yoked together. Equally yoked? Or unequally yoked? That would be the question.
While we were friends and also dating, we always talked about everything, I mean everything! We talked about our past, present, and future. There was nothing that we didn’t know about each other.
◊Helping Tip: Dating is for “data collection”. Don’t be so enamored by romance that you are completely oblivious to who that person is because you neglected collecting the data and facts concerning them.
When my husband and I were engaged, I remember watching Benny Hinn on Youtube talking about the price that his wife, Suzanne had to pay for the ministry. He began to say that men who have done great exploits had wives that were willing to go the whole way with them.
While watching that clip, I began to WEEP. Something in me became so tender for the thing that the Lord had called Jonathan to do in ministry. I’ve always known he would do amazing things for the kingdom of God.
As I went into prayer, I called out to God and said, “ Whatever price I have to pay in ministry, I’ll pay it WITH him”
All of the things that God was calling me to do fit directly into the things that God was calling Jonathan to do. We had likeness of vision.
◊Helping Tip: One common vision is a “keeper” in a marriage. Two visions= Di-vision. It doesn’t matter how in love you are, or how romantic the relationship is, if you do not share common vision you will inevitably be divided.
5.He exemplified character and integrity.
Throughout our 3 year friendship before we wed, I saw him in all types of circumstances. I’ve seen people lie on him, betray him, steal from him, etc but his character and integrity remained intact.
- Character is a moral compass that acts to navigate you in the right direction when under pressure.
- Integrity is having the courage to do the right thing even no one is looking.
I’ve seen him hurt, angry, upset, and frustrated, but there were certain moral and ethical lines that he would never cross.
Want to be on the road to knowing if that man is capable for you or not? Ask yourself these questions about the one you are dating.
∇ Who is he when no one else is around?
∇ What would he DO if no one was looking?
∇ What are his morals?
∇ What are things that he would NEVER do?
∇ Whose voice speaks the loudest in his life?
∇ How transparent is he about his past?
∇ Who does he admire?
∇ What are his goals?
∇ What are his secrets?
∇ What are his dreams?
∇ What unfortunate situations of his past can he talk about without the pain resurfacing?
∇ How does he perform under pressure?
∇ How does he handle anger?
∇ How does he handle disappointment?
THESE ARE ONLY A FEW!
Pictured left to right: Myself, Mya, My hubby, and Hannah♥
I pray that these 5 tips have been a blessing to you. Remember, this is not some special formula, but these were 5 ways that I knew that my husband was the one for me! Once again, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on this page for notifications of my next blog entry:)
Absolutely wonderful… what a way to end the 5 steps. I will read this blog twice a day, when I arise and when I close my eyes. This is an excellent read for US single women, Women in General. God Bless MRS. Ferguson.
You have helped millions with theses words of wisdom thanks.
All signed up for subscription. I thought that points 4 and 5 were very detailed and deep. WoW what a rounded and grounded woman of God you are.
What a great time I have had reading your blogs.
Angela D. Martin
I got married when I was 18, and we dated for 2 1/2 years before we got married. July 19 will make 13 yrs for us, and I can honestly say that EVERYTHING you wrote is the absolute truth. May God continue to bless you with the wisdom to help women.
Absolutely Amazing! This is so life saving. I can’t wait until God sends the one he has for me. I pray that all females read this. It will blow their mind. A Blessed and holy relationship is what God intended from the very beginning. God Bless you Amanda! Love you all.
These posts were awesome.i have often wondered how people know their significant other was the one.As you may know i am waiting on my GOD-ordained husband. I have asked GOD for a sign.this is definitely great guidance and you and Jonathan are THE PERFECT fit for each other.Some people you can just tell.And I have known Jonathan a long time and I cannot picture anyone better for him. You guys give me hope!
This is Vee by the way.the site made me log in to post my comment.cant wait to see more posts.
Once again great read. Although already engaged these are always great questions to think back on …then think on how great of a man one may have. I love the part on accountability that’s very important because if he can’t submit to your spiritual authority then how can he submit to God.
Thanks for sharing! I’ll definitely refer back to the questions when that season comes.
May God forever bless your family.
You really are an anointed woman of God. This is wise insight as to the various characteristics we should pay attention to when a man is looking to pursue you as a wife. Thank you for allowing God to use you!
I promise you Amanda, the part where you cried out to God about paying the price with Him in ministry really touched my heart. These blogs have been sooo deep and strong. I don’t think these tips will ever leave my mind. Love you all, praying for you all, and God bless you all – Zindia, from Canada
My husband and I have been seperated was about to divorce I have lost trust and respect for him he moved someone in our home we use to share.Im hurt snd scared. He canceled the divorce and want to get back together. I still love him very much what should I do.
As I was reading your blog I began to reflect on past relationships and can I tell you I am so thankful that I did not settle or compromise for the sake of being married. The last guy I dated I recognized quickly that we were going in two different direction although he is saved. I ended the relationship last year. 2016 I am focused and just seeking God spending quality time in the word of God. The word of the lord this year to me is NEW. I love your blogs please keep sharing with us ladies you are such a sweet wise WOG.
Thanks so much for this Amanda! I’ve followed you and Jonathan for years now, and I probably would have settled for just anybody if God had not shown me such a righteous couple. You were more transparent than ever before in these posts. You reminded me that I’m on the right track! I appreciate you guys so much and will continue to support everything you do! -Jessica
I’m in tears right now, I’m in the dating stage and everything you spoke of is in this man. I prayed and was very specific in what I wanted but made sure I asked for his will in it allband I’m just over whelmed. This was and is conformation.
Thank you Amanda for being a grounded woman of GOD… GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY….
Thank You so much for those tips Amanda…So Helpful..Love your Spirit and Beautiful Personality..may God continue to Bless You and your Family Real Good!
I so enjoy your teaching/ministry, you have been such a great blessing to my life. I can’t wait to meet you and tell you in person.
Great Tips Sis! Look at what God is doing through you! Awesome!
I Definitely Enjoyed reading this Blog! Great Tips and I’m Excited about what God is doing for your Family! May God continue to Bless You All Tremendously!
Thanks 4 sharing, you are blessed with a great man of God.
This Blog is incredibly accurate! Amanda you are so in tune to the heart of God. This information is not words of your private diary but it is a peak into godly wisdom that God has downloaded into your spirit! THANK YOU for sharing!
This blog is just what i needed! WOG you are always a blessing to other women, and i look forward to seeing the amazing things that God will download into you in the near future for his women!
Tears came down my face as I read through the tips. He was a man that use to have these same values but something changed. It seems you can start off yoked together but then your values and vision for your life change. He may not longer be the one.
The blog was helpful and true. At times had me laughing. The husband God chose was just that from God. We have a powerful testimony. The work he is doing in the two of us. There was no time for dating or getting to know one another. He joined us by his spirit first. Talk about not getting to ask questions. lol. He is a man I knew for 23 years as a teen and God finally brought us back to where we began. My email is [email protected]. Would love to share our testimony with you and your husband. Not sure what email I can send to you.
Love your blog
Hi Amanda. I really enjoyed reading this blog. Part 1 and 2. Great tips and wisdom. This blog really inspired me by sharing your story. Blessings to you and your family
Amen
I wish I could have had Access to this 5 years ago…….
Awsome
DEAR LADY AMANDA MY NAME IS TASHA I’M WRITING YOU BECAUSE I HAVE A QUESTION NOT RELATING TO ANY OF THE TOPICS HERE BUT BEING YOU ARE A LADY OF WISDOM AND I HAVE READY SOME OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL STORIES. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU YOUR TALENTS AND HE DOES THEN YOU BECOME FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE AND BEGAN TO SHARE SOME OF THE IDEAS GOD HAS SHOWED YOU AND THAT PERSON TELLS ANOTHER FRIEND OF THEIRS AND BEGAN TO USE IT AS THERE OWN. AND PUT THE IDEA OUT THERE JUST BEFORE YOU DID BECAUSE OF YOUR FINACES ARE NOT WERE THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU FIND OUT ABOUT IT AND YOU ARE HURT AS WELL CAUGHT OFF GUARD. HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT SITUATION AND THEY PARADING IT EVERYWHERE SO PEOPLE CAN COME SEE THE EVENT. EVEN THOUGH YOU BOTH MAY BE TALENTED IN SOME SAME AREAS. PLEASE RESPOND BACK TO ME. I SAID I WOULD CONTINUE TO STILL DO THE EVENT BUT IN A DIFFERENT FORM.
God bless you sis!
Great!
This is good for me. I have re-read this blog again and it is teaching.
Thank you and God bless you with Isaiah.61. Amen and Amen.