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3. Work on Your Appearance
Let’s talk a little about a particular scripture that I love, 1 Timothy 2:9. I mentioned this scripture in a blog last year, but I must mention it again. It states:
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…..”
That word adorn translates to “kosmeo” in the Greek which is where we get the word cosmetology in English. And what do cosmetologists do? They help to enhance our beauty. Simply put, adorn means to decorate and garnish. It also means world.
Let me break this down, this means that even though we should not make our beauty vanity, we should make it “our world” which means to make it a priority.
Let me tell you a funny story.
During our engagement period, the Lord really began to speak to me about the importance of “keeping myself up” and how my future husband would be intrigued by my beauty. However one particular day, I forgot about this and got in my feelings.
Jonathan and I were about to hang with friends. I had just gotten off work and had spent extra time on my hair and makeup and outfit. I thought I was CUTE. When Jonathan saw my outfit, he asked me to change my shirt because he didn’t like it. He wanted me to wear a different shirt that he felt matched better.
I got an attitude. MAJOR attitude. Then I texted a couple of my girlfriends and told them what he said.
They ALL said that HE was being petty.
The more I listened to them, the more I agreed with them. He had the problem, not me. I thought to myself, I’m fine just the way I am. Does he have any idea how many other men would want to be with me and he wants me to change a shirt?
Right before I convinced myself that we could not get married because maybe I would have to always change my clothes, the Holy Spirit whispered to me and said, “But do you want those other men or do you want Jonathan…it’s only a shirt, Amanda.”
Whew, I felt so convicted! It may sound silly reading this, but that was one of the biggest arguments that we had during our engagement. I was so serious and so mad, but after that tugging of the Holy Spirit, I made the adjustment and realized how silly it was. I also realized that I needed to get control over the voices that I allowed to influence my relationship.
◊ Helping Note: Dear Sis, be careful of the seeds that you allow other women to plant in your ear.
Remember this, men are moved by what they see. It didn’t take anything away from me to change to a different shirt, but it meant everything to him. So, if you’re seriously dating a man or engaged or even married and he asks you to switch up your outfit, hair, shoes, etc. remember that he is not trying to change YOU, he just wants to like what he is seeing at that moment.
4. Work on your Finances
Isn’t it something how when women write down what they want in a man, they usually write they want him to have a great credit score, a great job, and be in great financial shape etc.
But what about you?
Don’t demand something from him that you aren’t willing to demand from yourself.
Spend this time now working on your credit and gaining financial freedom.
Also pay attention to the areas that you struggle in financially.
Do you try to buy the latest, most expensive item even though you are behind in your bills?
Do you avoid those student loan payments?
Do you open multiple lines of credit and max them out?
Do you live above your means ?
Just like I mentioned in my earlier blog about googling recipes to learn to cook, use that same principle and google tips to become or stay financially free.
There are copious amounts of information on finances on the internet readily available from yearly budgeting down to daily tips.
Pull up your credit score and look at things on your credit that are negatively affecting it. Don’t just ignore it. Did you know that companies will work with you as long as you are willing to work with them to satisfy your debt? Sometimes the first step you need to take is just a phone call.
Remember this, you can never change what you will not confront.
I personally love Dave Ramsey’s teachings on money. There are also many other money experts who offer FREE information. Take advantage of that.
Learn to become a good steward and money manager now so that you will be able to add that skill to your home as a wife.
5. Work on your Emotional Health
To me, this one is BIG. Before I met my husband I had gone through many traumatic events. From being raised impoverished to being sexually abused as a pre-teen to even being suicidal before I got saved. I had been through a LOT in my life before Jonathan and I ever met. If you have never read how I triumphed through life’s tragedies, check out my book “Amanda’s Story: Overcoming Molestation and Depression” available on amazon.com.
Salvation and going through deliverance definitely helped me and made me new. In addition to that, I wholeheartedly believe in therapy. Not only did I go through therapy before my husband and I got married, but I still occasionally go to therapy now just to talk.
That’s right, I still go to therapy.
We can go to the doctor for checkups, the dentist for checkups, so why not go to therapy? You deserve to be well, in every area of your life including your emotional health.
Therapy is not a bad thing.
The things that you have never dealt with in your emotions WILL show up. It’s absolutely unavoidable. You may be able to hide them for a little while, but given the right situation, things will resurface. That’s why you can see a 50 year old act get upset and act like a 3 year old having a tantrum. There is a part of that person’s emotions that have never been healed.
By all means this year, please work on your emotional health.
I’m telling you this because I want you to be the absolute best that you can be. I’m praying for you and rooting for you.
Love you so much,