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This may take you as a surprise, but I absolutely did NOT marry my dream husband.
Like most singles, I had my “list” of what my dream husband HAD to contain. After the prerequisite of loving and serving Jesus of course and some of the other generic things that most women want, these three attributes were on my top MUST have list in a dream husband:
-Must be an accountant
-Must look like Denzel Washington
-Must know how to barbeque
You may look at that list and laugh, but they meant everything to me! I refused to marry someone who did not possess those attributes! Well, that is until Jonathan Ferguson came along.
Jonathan and I were introduced to each other through my godmother. I looked up a picture of him before we met and immediately said, “nope! He’s not the one. He looks nothing like Denzel.” Contrary to what I thought, he WOULD be the one I would marry, but he still wouldn’t be the man of my dreams.
And why is that?
Simply put, I didn’t marry my dream husband because, obviously to God, my dreams weren’t big enough. My husband is more amazing that ANY dream husband I could have ever fathomed in my mind.
And boy oh boy did God exceed my expectations!
No, he doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, but he doesn’t have to. Because he is FIIIINNNE. And all mine!
He also isn’t an accountant, but he is an excellent, excellent steward of the finances. I have never had to worry about a bill, and I haven’t clocked into a job in over 4 years.
He also doesn’t know how to barbeque, but he’s taken me to some of the finest restaurants.
He didn’t match most of the things on my “dream husband list” but, you see, I forgot to put a few things on my list.
I forgot to put on my list how weak of a stomach that I have, and having 3 pregnancies, that I would need a husband who would lovingly clean up the “aftermath” of my morning sickness. Every. Single. Time. Without EVER complaining and without me ever having to ask him to do that. And then, to look at me afterwards and tell me that he loves me and that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.
♥ That’s who God gave me.
I forgot to put on my list that I would need a strong man that could handle the burden of my grief and be gentle enough to wipe my tears as I sat through my mother’s funeral.
♥ That’s who God gave me.
I forgot to put on my list that I would want a husband who made sure that I never have to pump gas in my vehicle. Seriously, in 3 weeks we make 5 years of marriage, and I never have had to pump my own gas. Well maybe like 3 times tops and only because he was out of town and we both forgot.
♥ God gave me a man who loves me…and gosh does he love me. I never knew a love so beautiful!
When I feel like I mess up and feel subpar, he encourages me and tells me I’m amazing.
When I need an extra push, he is there being my biggest supporter.
When I’m a little “over the top” he is there to simmer me on down and land me back to reality.
There are times that I’ve gone to sleep sad and awakened feeling like a million bucks . I would tell him that I felt better the next morning and his sweet reply would be music to my ears, “I stayed up and prayed for you all night.”
He loves me past my imperfections and “blah” moments. He loves all of me. He loves the depth of me. He loves me without restraints. He loves me flaws and all.
◊ Helping Note: Dear Sis, to one special man even your flaws will be beautiful. Wait for THAT one.
You see, my dreams were way too small.
My husband is my exceeding, abundantly blessing. With him, I’ve experienced things I never would have thought to experience. He has upgraded me in every area of my life.
My husband is not what I wanted, he is MORE than what I wanted and so for that reason I’m so glad that I didn’t marry the man of my dreams.
So single lady, keep your list if you must, but if God has anything to do with it you can expect a complete upgrade.
In the end, my hope and prayer for you is that you don’t marry your dream husband, but that just like me, you marry BETTER.
Do. Not. Settle
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Love you so much,
Wife. Mother. Author.