6 Important Things I’ve Learned In 6 Years of Marriage
Ladies, it has been soooooo long, I know I know! I’ve been soo busy with family, my business, and ministry tour that I seem to keep pushing these blogs back. Two years ago, I started documenting what I learned in my Four years and Five years of marriage, so I wanted to continue the tradition. I’m no marriage expert, but I believe in sharing what I’ve learned, so here are the 6 things that I’ve learned in my 6 amazing years of marriage.
- Women like to share, men not so much…and that’s okay.
I’m extremely expressive! I love to teach and explain myself. I love even more giving examples. I used to think my husband was just ignoring me until I realized he has a very short attention span. I heard someone say it like this” Men think in straight lines. Women think in circles.” Even though I heard that it didn’t really click until this past year. I would get sooo frustrated trying to go into a detailed synopsis of events just for him to say “Okay babe, get to the point…I’m like, this whole speech is the point”…I would like to say that I’ve mastered “shortening” my stories for him, but I haven’t. However, I’ve mastered not getting upset, and when I notice his attention span drifting off I just smile and say, “Okay, I’ll add more later:)”
2. Try out new things together.
I’ve tried to avoid the monotony of marriage. Granted, every day isn’t romance and roses, but I believe every day can be fun. We recently began working out together at Orange Theory Fitness…..and oh goodness is it funny. Sometimes it’s so funny, that I can’t catch my breath for laughing at him about to pass out on the treadmill! That one-hour workout not only recharges our bodies, but recharges our marriage as well! Now that the weather is warming up in Dallas, we plan to get some bicycles and ride around this spring!
3. Believe the best about each other.
Okay, so last year I was talking to my husband about how much I loved him. We were dead broke when we met each other, and so I wanted to remind him that I didn’t care if we lost everything, that I would still love him the same. I remember looking at him googley-eyed while I told him that, just waiting for him to say “Awwww babe, I love you”…well, he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t say much. I thought, “Hmmm that’s weird…..maybe he is just tired”.. but I just continued about my day. Several weeks later, I asked him was there anything that he wanted to tell me. “He said yeah, you told me if we lost everything that you would still love me. I was affected by what you said because it makes me feel like you’d be willing to sabotage everything we’ve worked for if you were frustrated enough.” “What, whoa! Flag on the play! What in the world?” His interpretation of what I was saying made him think that I wanted us to lose everything one day. While I was trying to communicate that if we DID lose everything I wouldn’t love him any less….(not that we would ever lose everything or that I would want us to). Instead of getting offended at what he said, I listened to WHY he said that and realized why he felt that way. It was a sigh of relief on both ends. He knew that I was telling him that I would still love him whether we had $10,000,000 or $10, and he knew that I would always be pushing with him no matter what. We are able to laugh about the moment now,
4. Your children will thank you for putting them 3rd.
God, husband and wife, children, then everything else has always been the order that we have patterned our lives after. I remember praying one day specifically about our girls, and I heard the Lord tell me in prayer” The best thing you can do for your girls is to stay in sync with me and to stay in sync with your husband”. I was reminded of this one day after my husband and I were in the kitchen. I was making dinner, and the girls were seated at the table. Jonathan came up to me and gave me a hug and held me for a moment, then a kiss on the lips before grabbing some silverware to head back to the table. Hannah and Mya (our older two daughters) giggled so hard! Mya said “Mommy and Daddy love each other” with the biggest smile on her face. Hannah said “Awwww”. It means so much for our girls to see us in sync!
5. Journaling is very powerful.
In one of my former blogs, I talked about how journaling is my #1 success tool as a wife. I spend time writing in my journals the desires of my husband. I write about how I can be a better helper to him. I write down the things that really sparks his creativity….colors, sounds, everything. I try to be as detailed as possible, and I also write updates. In certain seasons my husband’s desires change, so I’m sure to update them! I call them love notes. You can get your own Love Notes Journal here and begin scripting and journalizing the desires of your husband, and if you’re engaged..your husband to be!
6. Never stop creating an atmosphere of beauty, peace, and tranquility.
There are times that I will go to multiple stores just to smell candles and pick the PERFECT scent for our home. There are other times where I will browse online or stores for months just to find the perfect accent pieces to add to our home. Even now, for months I’ve been searching for the perfect accent chairs to add to our office. Men are visual beings, and I’m committed to making sure my husband enjoys what he sees. In case you feel like you’re slacking in the area of your home, and would like a little boost, Join our 5 Day Organizational Challenge here and learn my tried and true tips for creating an oasis in your home. We’ve had so many people take the challenge already, and they absolutely loved it! I’ll be personally responding to your questions and comments on the journey, and can’t wait to see how much peace you add to your home:)
A few notes:
-My husband and I are on a mini bootcamp tour! Click here to join us and find out where we’ll be! I want to see and hug on you all.
-I started a Fierce Girl Store! Click here to see all of our amazing t-shirts that make excellent witnessing tools!
Love you so much,
Beautiful. Keep on loving & keep on growing! You guys show up in my dreams quite often. May God bless you over & over again! ?
Thank you much for sharing Lady Amanda. I’m learning a lot from you, & it’s been enriching. Though I’m not married or engaged, I’m taking mental notes on your teachings. You both are truly inspiring. God bless!!!❤?
Awww thank you so much!
I am learning Amanda. Please keep sharing. I am not yet married but I trust God with Him all things are possible and I will be a good wife and mother.
God bless you with Psalm.128. Amen and Amen
This is so inspiring to read. God bless you and your family Lady Amanda. I am not married yet, but I know my husband is coming soon. I will surely take these tips into consideration. Thanks again!
Hey you are definitely right about that get to the point….. lol. It’s like I be trying to explain and he’s like…okay so what are you trying to say…without saying everything! When you talked about that, I can relate!! 🙂 As a wife and mother of 2 and 1 on the way in like 4 weeks, it is definitely a job. We just purchased our first home about 7 weeks ago and I no longer work outside the home(9-5) so I am always asking God for wisdom and learning how to be who he has called me to be in this season!!!
Hello Mrs. Ferguson,
This is really very inspiring. I especially like the tip you talked about in point 1. I believe that communication is everything and I honestly would get offended in previous relationships when I thought I was being ignored! lol It’s good to know that alot of men just have short attention spans. Whew! I thought it was me! This is nice to know for my future husband to be because I can be a very sensitive about being heard! Now, I know that I have to try to get straight to the point. Especially, when it’s something important.
Amanda you are such an inspiration. I love your teachings. I have one questions and that is how do I start a blog? What is it, what kind content do I fill it with. God said I would be blogging and I have no clue how to go about. Any info you can give me would be appreciated. Thank You.
Thank you! You can simply get a WordPress site for free and write what’s on your heart.