It’s been awhile since I have posted the blog as we have been switching over to a new site. Glad to be back posting.
If you can remember, last year I made a post about 4 Important Things I Learned in 4 years of Marriage, so I wanted to continue the tradition this year!
We just celebrated 5 wonderful years of marriage this past Tuesday, March 7th. To celebrate, my new book “The God Given Husband” is on sale now for 5.99 from today until Sunday night. Order today and tell all of your friends! (no paypal account needed)
Now, I want to share with you 5 things that I’ve learned in these past 5 years of marriage.
1. He May Not Understand….and that’s ok.
I read a book once that said “men and women are as different as pink is from blue.”
Very true! At times, I find myself telling my husband, “Babe, you don’t understand,” until I realize that he doesn’t…and you know what? That’s ok! Men and women are wired totally different. That’s really the beauty of it. It would be so boring if men and women acted alike and thought alike.
God made us different for a reason! As a woman, there are things that I notice that my husband doesn’t and vice versa. Embrace your differences. There is much strength in that.
2. Laugh often!
Ok, so if you really know me then you know I’m really regimented. I have a weekly list, a daily list, a grocery list, and for holidays I have a schedule planned out! I love routine and schedules! But honestly in my plight to check everything off my list, at times, I can easily become robotic! I have to remind myself to enjoy life and simply laugh, even if I happen to veer off of schedule.
Once, my husband and I were in the kitchen and we laughed so hard we grabbed our stomachs. Our oldest daughter, Hannah, looked so confused! She asked us if we were okay, and I was like gosh, she hasn’t seen us laugh like that in a while! She always sees us happy, but she hadn’t seen the “hold your belly, outrageous, crazy laughter” ! When she saw us laughing again, she started laughing! So from that day on, I decided we would laugh about something every single day …and we do!
There is nothing like a joyful home!
3. Don’t be Too Tired For Each Other.
Now, this one is huge for me and is an area I have to constantly remind myself that my husband was there before the children, and when they’re grown and gone, he will still be there so he has to be a priority .
We have three kids….THREE!…and our oldest is only three years old! Whew!! Between being a mother, being a wife, owning a business, and writing blogs and books, it’s easy for me to get tired and worn out.
Just yesterday my husband asked me to go to lunch with him and run some errands with him before his ministry trip this weekend. But I had literally just laid our 3 month old down for a nap! At first I said, nooooo that’s my only break and I needed to make some phone calls. And then I thought about it and decided that I should go.
And let… me… tell… you…we had so much fun! He even carried our youngest daughter in the baby carrier while we walked around and did errands AND she still took a nap in her car seat as we headed back home…double win!
It’s funny how we as mothers can get up at 1 am and rock a child back to sleep yet not inconvenience ourselves for our spouses…no!
Wives, let’s step it up in this area:)
4. Pray Together Everyday.
My husband and I have always been good about praying individually. However, within this last year, we realized the importance of praying together daily.
Now this doesn’t mean that you have to pray together for hours. Sometimes our prayers together have been hours and sometimes as short as 5 minutes!
Remember, there is much power in agreement in prayer!
5. Don’t Withhold Affection From Each Other.
This is a principle that we have had since day one of our marriage. We show each other LOTS of affection all of the time. In fact, because of that, it has shortened meaningless disagreements.
For example, before one of us has to leave the house to run an errand or take care of business, we kiss each other. If we’re upset with each other, we find ourselves smiling and saying “I love you or I’m sorry” after we kiss and usually just like that, the frustration is over!
Sometimes, it’s really just that simple. There are also times that we have had disagreements and I hug my husband or we hold each other, and the temperature of the argument goes allll the way down! We deal with things quickly, and sometimes just a kiss, a hug, or a little affection end the disagreement or at least lessen it!
In five years of marriage, I can honestly say, we have never ever gone to bed upset with each other. Also, while we’re on the subject of affection… wives, please, PLEASE, do not withhold sex from your husbands because you’re mad. Don’t try to use that as a weapon against him!
If you’re struggling in that area, I encourage you to read a book by Dr. Kevin Leman called “Have a New Husband by Friday.” It was a required read while we were going through pre-marital counseling, and I still review it.
I hope these tips helped!
Be sure to get and share my new book, The God Given Husband. There’s a bonus chapter of questions to consider for a potential spouse. I would love to hear how it has blessed your family and friends in progressing their walk with Christ and in relationships.
Love you so much,
Wife. Mother. Author.