5 Important Things I Learned in 5 Years of Marriage
It’s been awhile since I have posted the blog as we have been switching over to a new site. Glad to be back posting.
If you can remember, last year I made a post about 4 Important Things I Learned in 4 years of Marriage, so I wanted to continue the tradition this year!
We just celebrated 5 wonderful years of marriage this past Tuesday, March 7th. To celebrate, my new book “The God Given Husband” is on sale now for 5.99 from today until Sunday night. Order today and tell all of your friends! (no paypal account needed)
Now, I want to share with you 5 things that I’ve learned in these past 5 years of marriage.
1. He May Not Understand….and that’s ok.
I read a book once that said “men and women are as different as pink is from blue.”
Very true! At times, I find myself telling my husband, “Babe, you don’t understand,” until I realize that he doesn’t…and you know what? That’s ok! Men and women are wired totally different. That’s really the beauty of it. It would be so boring if men and women acted alike and thought alike.
God made us different for a reason! As a woman, there are things that I notice that my husband doesn’t and vice versa. Embrace your differences. There is much strength in that.
2. Laugh often!
Ok, so if you really know me then you know I’m really regimented. I have a weekly list, a daily list, a grocery list, and for holidays I have a schedule planned out! I love routine and schedules! But honestly in my plight to check everything off my list, at times, I can easily become robotic! I have to remind myself to enjoy life and simply laugh, even if I happen to veer off of schedule.
Once, my husband and I were in the kitchen and we laughed so hard we grabbed our stomachs. Our oldest daughter, Hannah, looked so confused! She asked us if we were okay, and I was like gosh, she hasn’t seen us laugh like that in a while! She always sees us happy, but she hadn’t seen the “hold your belly, outrageous, crazy laughter” ! When she saw us laughing again, she started laughing! So from that day on, I decided we would laugh about something every single day …and we do!
There is nothing like a joyful home!
3. Don’t be Too Tired For Each Other.
Now, this one is huge for me and is an area I have to constantly remind myself that my husband was there before the children, and when they’re grown and gone, he will still be there so he has to be a priority .
We have three kids….THREE!…and our oldest is only three years old! Whew!! Between being a mother, being a wife, owning a business, and writing blogs and books, it’s easy for me to get tired and worn out.
Just yesterday my husband asked me to go to lunch with him and run some errands with him before his ministry trip this weekend. But I had literally just laid our 3 month old down for a nap! At first I said, nooooo that’s my only break and I needed to make some phone calls. And then I thought about it and decided that I should go.
And let… me… tell… you…we had so much fun! He even carried our youngest daughter in the baby carrier while we walked around and did errands AND she still took a nap in her car seat as we headed back home…double win!
It’s funny how we as mothers can get up at 1 am and rock a child back to sleep yet not inconvenience ourselves for our spouses…no!
Wives, let’s step it up in this area:)
4. Pray Together Everyday.
My husband and I have always been good about praying individually. However, within this last year, we realized the importance of praying together daily.
Now this doesn’t mean that you have to pray together for hours. Sometimes our prayers together have been hours and sometimes as short as 5 minutes!
Remember, there is much power in agreement in prayer!
5. Don’t Withhold Affection From Each Other.
This is a principle that we have had since day one of our marriage. We show each other LOTS of affection all of the time. In fact, because of that, it has shortened meaningless disagreements.
For example, before one of us has to leave the house to run an errand or take care of business, we kiss each other. If we’re upset with each other, we find ourselves smiling and saying “I love you or I’m sorry” after we kiss and usually just like that, the frustration is over!
Sometimes, it’s really just that simple. There are also times that we have had disagreements and I hug my husband or we hold each other, and the temperature of the argument goes allll the way down! We deal with things quickly, and sometimes just a kiss, a hug, or a little affection end the disagreement or at least lessen it!
In five years of marriage, I can honestly say, we have never ever gone to bed upset with each other. Also, while we’re on the subject of affection… wives, please, PLEASE, do not withhold sex from your husbands because you’re mad. Don’t try to use that as a weapon against him!
If you’re struggling in that area, I encourage you to read a book by Dr. Kevin Leman called “Have a New Husband by Friday.” It was a required read while we were going through pre-marital counseling, and I still review it.
I hope these tips helped!
Be sure to get and share my new book, The God Given Husband. There’s a bonus chapter of questions to consider for a potential spouse. I would love to hear how it has blessed your family and friends in progressing their walk with Christ and in relationships.
Also, I would love to meet you April 21-22, in Atlanta for Bootcamp Atlanta. I will be speaking and can’t wait to share what God is doing alongside my husband Jonathan Ferguson.
Love you so much,
Wife. Mother. Author.
Awesome!!! I greatly appreciate this blog here.. My husband and I will be celebrating 4 yrs of marriage October 2017. Thank you for your wisdom. Praying together has done wonders for us.. God bless you abundantly!!!
Congratulations and thank you!
Such encouraging and potent tips! Always a bliss to read your blogs as an extra step for preperation! Many blessings to you my sweet sister!!
awww thank you!
True Amanda I have been married 11 years in April No how upset Sex is never never never ever a weapon ever its inviting roaches in to your marriage you know what I mean.
Awesome much needed blog Amanda. I can’t wait to read the book.
I am a newly wed as of December 2016 and I must say- this blog was very timely and the more encouraging. Thanks so much for sharing!
congratulations! And glad you enjoyed 🙂
Thank you so much for this blog! Truly an inspiration! My husband and I just celebrated 5 years of marriage on March 6, 2017! Praise God! God Bless you Amanda Ferguson, you truly are an inspiration for me to be a better godly wife and mother.
awwww you’re welcome! Love you 🙂
Love you too ❤️? Thank you again!
Am truly learning a lot even thou am single newly born again Christian that’s not ready for marriage but love ready your vlogs tips for when am ready.
Thanks for sharing ❤❤❤❤❤❤
thank you !
Wonderful post!! Thanks for the advice!! May God continue to bless your marriage and may it last for a lifetime, in Jesus name, Amen! Have a joyous day!!☺☺
Next month april 19 me and my husband have our 31st anniversary..i ran across your blog on fb and beginning to read it..it bless me..i have issue where sometime im too tired to be intimate with my husband.i went thru breast cancer 2 years ago and did chemo and radiation treatment, my body hasnt bounce back..i have low level of energy..thank u for sharing.God bless
congratulations on 31 years! such a blessing:) thanks for reading
Totally a great read!! I love this blog so much. Thank you for continuing to share your heart with us during your blogs.
glad you enjoyed!
Well, as usual, you did it again! Great Wisdom shared…especially number 3 and 5. I think those are two of the most important in any marriage…to stay consistent with them. Thank you for being a godly example to ALL women from different aspects of life. Appreciate you much! ❤
Thank you so much! 🙂
This is awesome and refreshing after 21 years of marriage! Our kids are all grown, but one who is seventeen and ready to go to college next year, so we are finding time to court again, staycation again and it’s not at all what it seemed it would be, it’s so much better!!! These tips are dead on and I tip my hat to you woman of God!! Nothing like a happy, satisfied and loving husband. Great read!!!!!!!
that’s so awesome! Love you guys!
This blessed me, I will definitely work on some areas in my marriage, a lot of things I noticed was hitting home in this blog. I will definitlely buy that book ? and congradulations to you both ! My husband and I on June 21st will be married also for 5 years. I think we got married the same year lol
I can relate to all those tips! We do them already, especially praying together. I enjoyed this post!
awesome! and thank you !
I have a question. This year I will be married 6 years. When my husband and I met I was not saved. I gave my life to Christ 3 years ago.
My relationship and marriage started on the wrong foot. Many terrible things have occurred. And some continue to occur. I feel conflicted about reaching out because I don’t want to bring shame upon us, or be told walk away by those that don’t share the same faith as me. I am believing God for what most think is impossible and I know He can do it. The problem is I feel like I have to quench what God is doing in me to coexist in my marriage and even now in fellowship sometimes. I am hungry for a deepness in Christ. Is it possible for me to have a deepness in Him and my marriage isn’t yet restored in the natural? My spirit yearns for deep intimacy with Christ but the deeper I go the more the Lord changes and renews me and it seems the more trouble I have in my marriage. I feel like Rachel and Leah I feel favored and loved by Christ, His gifts are growing in me, my heart overflows when I think about Him. I have beautiful children but my marriage is barren. Such joy and fullfillment in one area and such disappointment and fruitlessness in another. I don’t know what to do. I watched you and your husband today on Daystar and felt compelled to reach out. Thank you and God bless.
[…] pushing these blogs back. Two years ago, I started documenting what I learned in my Four years and Five years of marriage, so I wanted to continue the tradition. I’m no marriage expert, but I believe in […]